When you work hard you will eventually succeed. If you don’t you are somehow flawed.

Sound familiar? This is an  ideology that has influenced the lives of millions of people for generations. Maybe no one directly told you this. In what ways, might you have been inadvertently taught this? Maybe a teacher looked down on you when you were late for class because you missed the bus. Maybe home was not always a safe or stable place. Maybe psychically or mental disabilities presented barriers that were not accommodated for fully. Maybe the boss in a job interview made an assumption about your education or lack of. This concept has been used against many as a way to place the blame on an individual and excuse the broken system. Regardless of your experience, most Americans have encountered this way of thinking. Part of dismantling racism and other cycles of oppression (ableism, classism, ageism) is about learning how to notice them. We must examine social messages and ideas that contribute to inequality. 

For me, this was a message embedded in my everyday life. Something my mom reminded me of when I was crying. Something my gym teachers told me when I couldn’t run anymore due to asthma. Something my grandma wears as a badge of honor. Her favorite mentality is "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". These sayings were reasons I looked up to her and they were very much something I believed in. The messages took different forms from ‘get over it’, to ‘your stronger than that’, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, or ‘Just keep plugging along’. 

When I think about privilege it's helpful for me to ask the question, who does this idea benefit? Who does it leave out? For me, as a white, middle class, able bodied cis gender woman who passes for straight, it was largely easy for me to support this/accept this. I had struggles with ADHD as a child, but I also had a tight family structure, dedicated parents, lots of stability and attended schools in a well-funded school system. These are some of the things that, despite the real struggles I have had to face, have allowed me to have faith in a system that caters to my life, my culture, my world. .  

Upon examining the idea of the American dream even further, I have learned how Eurocentric it is and how it perpetuates the misconception that if you aren't successful it's your responsibility. There is an assumption that you didn't try hard enough, you are not smart enough, and essentially, you are not enough. This is problematic when we know that we live in a system that was built to benefit certain people over others and gives a false sense of hope and sets up a system of scapegoating.

It’s important to remember as you evaluate the social messages around you that you decline the invitation to fall into one camp or the other. Going back to my example of my grandmother. My grandmother  is not a bad person for embracing this idea. The idea itself was not created out of maliciousness, nor is it  all bad. However, it can be harmful. When we recognize the history of these concepts  we often begin to see patterns of who they helped and who they have oppressed. My grandma is a strong woman, a proud woman and a survivor in many ways. I hope to be like her. I can hold her strength and wisdom while also being vigilant of the power and the effects cultural and social ideas have had on marginalized communities.